The Mother of the Fetus Writes Again...

Dear Precious Fetus -

You are a lucky child. I am sure you have been reading the letters your great-grandparents have written you and are getting excited to be held, snuggled, kissed, and spoiled. Did you see the last word?? Spoiled. I hope that you are feeling spoiled now sitting comfortably in my uterus, shielded from loud noises, bright lights, and hard surfaces. I am sorry though about all the Chili-Lime sunflower seeds I have been feeding you though. They are quite addictive, ask your grandmother about those later.


I do think we should thank your Great Grandmother Mimi for her most recent round of spoiling. Her love and dedication to you have resulted in a plethora of comfort objects including your very first Mimi quilt and beautiful receiving blankets. You will someday understand the furor these quilts cause within your Holiday family. You got one before you were even born.

I continue to be amazed at the emotions you have caused us all to have. And also the nausea that just won't quite go away. Be sure to save some kisses for Mimi and Grandpa. Also Granny and Pawpaw, Grandpa Sam and Connie, Pops and Grandmother to be Named, Uncle Paul and Aunt Maggie, Uncle Ol'Dirty (that could Matt or Ben)... well how long this list is might scare you. Just be prepared. I can't wait to see you again on May 9th! Be sure and smile for the ultrasound.

Love your Mother

Fetus Letterbag: PawPaw Is Cool and Smart

I like to think that I am coming into the world at just the right time and this letter I got today from PawPaw certainly supports that thought. Just a generation ago, a fetus would have a hard time getting to know his predecessors. I hear people would tell stories or maybe find a written one, but that stuff can get lost. Today, a kid can get emails like this one from PawPaw and I will have them forever. I'm learning everything about where I came from, from the people who know it best. So, I and my parents are extremely grateful.

Having known my mother for a couple months now, I totally would have thought her to have a boring background, because she is TOTALLY boring me. Some days I wish my arms were long enough to plug my ears when she is work going on and on and on.... But anyway, as luck would have it, my family background is anything but boring. The letter below explains it all.

Granny and PawPaw, please keep in touch. I am really into early childhood development and this stuff is great. The womb wi-fi internet is good for research and all, but these letters are just way more interesting. I can't thank you enough.

Sincerely,
Your -31 week old Really Great Grandchild.



Here is the letter:

Dear Baby Roberts,
I am your great-grandfather PawPaw. As senior member of the Elder clan, I look forward to telling you stories about your Elder heritage. I hope to tell you about your ancestors.
Your great great great great-grandmother danced with Jesse James, a famous outlaw. Your great great great great-grandfather hunted buffalo to supply meat to the army. Ask your daddy about buffalo. Your great great great-grandfather owned livery stables in several Oklahoma towns. He rented horses, buggies, and wagons to people who needed them to get around the country. There were no cars. Your great great-grandfather rode in a covered wagon from Oklahoma to New Mexico. I’ll tell you why one day. Oh, and by the way I, PawPaw, won World war II all by myself. Whoops, I just heard Granny laugh.
All of this will give you some idea of what is waiting when you enter this in your world, so no, you can’t stay in your mommy’s belly. You must come out and be greeted by lots of people. They will share love, kisses, hugs, and stories. You will have to tell each storyteller that his stories are the best. That is how to get along in your family.

See you in November.
Love, PawPaw

This is pretty awesome news. My parents' parents' parents, who call themselves Granny and PawPaw, wrote me a letter today. So, I am one excited and appreciative unborn child right now. Granny and Pawpaw, I dedicate this 8th week of development to you. I will start to develop elbows, teeth, and intestines this week. I don't know what those things do yet, but whenever I use those body parts, it will be in your honor.

Here is the letter:

April 2, 2008


Dear Baby Roberts,

We want to introduce ourselves to you. We are two of your great-grandparents, Granny and PawPaw. Silly names, aren’t they. We call you Baby Roberts because so far a name has not been selected for you. For that matter we don’t even know if you are a boy or a girl. But one thing we do know for sure is this. We are prepared to love you with all our hearts.
If you are like most babies, you will enter the world crying like crazy. Right now your world is warm, dark and cozy. Your mom’s heart beat keeps you safe. When you arrive on your birth day, you, your mom, and your dad will be a family and together you will always keep each other safe.
Let us tell you something, Baby. When you arrive you will be smart to hand out name tags to all your kinfolks. You will have parents(probably no tags necessary for them), grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and cousins once removed. Each will want to hold you. When you’ve had it with all
the holding, it’s time to cry. It’s guaranteed, mom and dad will come to rescue you.
You have so many surprises awaiting you, but here are two that you can work to your advantage. One day before you are even a month old, your head will stop bobbling. Honest. The world will stop bobbling, and you can find your thumb so much easier, And one day not long after the head thing, you will be lying on your bed, on your stomach, You will be drooling, and rubbing your nose on your drool-wet sheet. You will get aggravated, stiffen your arms, raise your upper body, and plop, you will turn over. Get ready. Your mom and dad will email the entire tribe and declare it a miracle. Your dad will take a 1000 pictures. Indulge him. These are just two of the wonderful surprises that await you.

Love ,
Granny and PawPaw


How many feti are so fortunate to have 3 prior generations worth of experience guiding his/her future even before birth? I am incredibly lucky, but I do not intend on coming out of here. All the drooling, rolling over, etc. sounds like a lot of work. I have it good here, so here is where I will stay if I have any say so at all. On second thought, I am getting really anxious to meet all these people in person that clearly think I'm going to make as good a born person as I am a fetus. Plus, I met this girl/guy on eHarmony and he/she wants to meet in person, so I have to come out for that, at least for awhile.

Also, before I forget, I don't want 1,000 pictures of me. How annoying. I guess if that's what my dad is in to, then hopefully he will teach me to get used to it early. I mean, I've already had my picture taken once and it wasn't that bad.

I am extremely grateful for this letter from my great-grandparents. What's happening here with me isn't an everyday thing. A kid with this much love and guidance in his/her life is somebody destined to do incredible things and be just as amazing as my predecessors (dad excluded, he drinks too much). I am truly overwhelmed and very very thankful for having so many great people cheering me on, 7 months before they will even meet me. That is as good as it gets.

Erin is nice

Well, Happy negative Birthday to me. I should be about -32 weeks old this week, by my calculation. The parents have been totally freaking out, but I'm told that's what they tend to do. Dad has this weird thing going where he feels like if he's not as funny as the people in Juno, then he's not funny at all. Mother Erin just sleeps all the time. Just for grins, I make everything smell bad to her except for Dad's exhaust and a select few food items. She'll never tell him, but I've set it up so that the only smells that don't gross her out are the aforementioned fumes and bean burritos from Taco Bell/Bueno. I have inherited my father's juvenile sense of humor and I just love it. Someday, he'll appreciate what I am doing in here... I can only hope, because it's hilarious.

Looks like the parents are moving at some point. As soon as the house went up for sale, they got a call from a realtor and lots of hits on their website. If you are looking for a house that is not a womb, which is hard for me to picture, you should strongly consider buying this one: 10227bixby.com. If you don't want to, that's just fine... I can go to daycare from 1 week old until I'm six years old... no problem. Don't feel bad. I'll be just fine... I've told them I can take care of myself, but Dad says Mother Erin has never been much for listening, and between you and me, he's a complete idiot himself. My days will be best spent in the care of professionals.

Mother Erin, in case you didn't know, is brilliant. She reads, thinks, researches, exercises, eats, sleeps, and everything else with me in mind. Say what you will about the human race, but watch a mother like Erin care for her child, even before I am born, and you have to be impressed. I can't imagine more dedication to anything than what my mother has to me. Every single minute is dedicated to my well being, and that makes me feel good, even as a pencil-eraser-sized embryo. I know most of my life will be spent taking for granted what my parents feel at this time, but it won't be my fault. That's a hard concept to grasp for anybody. Having such tiny hands and brains, I can't grasp much at all right now. But at some point, someday, it will all make sense. I will understand, eventually, that the commitment my parents made the day they learned about me, if not long before, to give me the same chance their parents gave them, was one of my best days. And then I'll think about my grandparents and great-grandparents, and how they worked to keep this going. I could have been born so many things, in so many different families and places, with so many different situations. But the fact that I am here, amongst open minded, loving, caring, honest, truly good natured people is incredible and something that I will have no choice but to benefit from. It'll hit me that the choice was made by so many people to do the right thing, in my best interest, that led to me being the totally coolest embryo/fetus/infant/toddler/kid/teenager/adult I am. I guess my point is just that so many things could have gone wrong... so many people could have veered off and made the easy decisions, and still could. But, the people that are in my family did not and will not. And while everybody has a chance to be whatever "in spite" of their situation, I will be born into a situation where I am surrounded by family members that always have been and always will be good people, because that's what they were always taught to be. I've been researching on the internet, and I can already tell that that is so, so, so rare. I mean really rare.

My mother cried last week at a dog show when she saw a dog celebrate a victory with his handler. Ridiculous right? Yes. It was. But, being inside her and all, I can share a little insight as to what was going on. First off, hormones. Mo'Er (Mother Erin) has got so many hormones running through her right now, it's amazing. My bad on all of that... But, what got her and my father (secretly) was the purity of the whole thing. I think dogs and their owners are kind of like kids and their parents sometimes. I think parents & dog owners are alike in that they want nothing more for their kids/dogs than to see them truly happy, and nothing makes them happier than that. That whole thing is also reciprocated by the child/dog. At that dog show, in that instance, I could see from this uterus that exact thing taking place... two entities made completely happy by the other's joy. It was overwhelming then and I am overwhelmed now to think about how many people I will have in my life that will be truly happy when I smile, will totally freak out if I laugh, if I'm sick, if I am hungry, etc. The crying was silly, sure, but at the end of the day, I have a mother that is really into this fetus. So much so that when she sees some crazy lady that is as into her dog as mom is into me, she cries, because it reminds her of how much she likes me. I know I sound gay, but that's cool. My mother wants me to be gay anyhow, even though I'm probably not, statistically. Again, I won't completely appreciate you all for some time, because I won't even realize the difference you are making. But someday it'll hit me, and I'll read things like that letter from my mom and I will be in the spot mom and dad are now, thinking about their parents and the difference they made. And I will be so appreciative that they did the right thing and then I will be compelled to take what they and I have inherited and continue to grow the love, honesty, and determination that their families have instilled in their lives. It is very hard to love people, even your own kids, enough to not let your own problems or emotions get in the way. My parents are some of very few who have examples in their lives that have achieved that. It's on them not to screw it up, but I think my chances are really good.