Holy shit I have had a really bad day. Incessant whining, constant pain, no appetite, terrible sleep, bad mood, emotional.... my mother is absolutely crazy and I'm not sure how much longer I can take it. If this keeps up, I'm definitely going to be premature. I feel just fine, don't get me wrong. But she doesn't realize how guilty I feel when she goes around telling everyone what a pain in the ass I am. I CAN HEAR YOU LADY. Look, I'm healthy, I'm sprouting body parts faster than I can keep up with, my heart is beating and my NCAA bracket is beating everybody else in this womb. What else do you want? Christ, I need a drink. My only saving grace is that my dad, from what I have overheard, is incredible. He drinks really good beers, makes funny jokes about mother, puts her in a good mood, lets her watch whatever she wants on his new tv, takes her to his favorite barbecue places, and dictates my blogs. Me and this guy are really going to get along.

I've been looking around on the internet a lot lately. Mother Erin's womb has wifi, thank God. I would be bored to tears otherwise, just sitting here braiding my umbilical cord and kicking things while I listen to Mother Erin do therapy with kids who clearly need a dad like the one I'm going to have. That's depressing. So, I put my headphones on and work on the ol' website instead.

Here, I took this with my wombcam:


So anyway, the internet... I've been chatting with some other feti and we have all kinds of questions.

Wait a second... oh no.... Dad had Villanova picked to beat KU in his NCAA bracket and they just lost, so dad just hit Mother Erin over the head with a beer bottle and blamed her for telling him to pick 'Nova. I told him Kansas was going to the Final Four. Maybe I'm already smarter than my parents.

Anyway, I'll finish this later, I have to break up a fight. I'll throw some intermittent nausea at Mother Erin. That should work.

Gotta go, bye.